the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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