He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
