I love black thongs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
