Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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