What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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