Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
