she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
