Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
