3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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