We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
