Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
