I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
