My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
