I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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