Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's like God shit irony all over that family
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
