I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
