none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
