Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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