My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
