remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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