Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
