Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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