wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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