Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
