hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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