This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The power of my boobs compel you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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