This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
