I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
