OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
