its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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