Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
