hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
