Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize