She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
