dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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