bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
