She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
