Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
