My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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