We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
