and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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