Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
