I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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