if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
