STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think my fart just growled at me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
