This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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