I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
