He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
