Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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