are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
