I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
