Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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