would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
