what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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