Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
