that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
