Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
