I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
