Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
