I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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