why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
