I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
