Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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