i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
