That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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